All this stress is stressing me out!

I saw my doctor today regarding some issues I have been having. What are the issues? For the last few months I have been experiencing my heart racing, shortness of breath, a sharp pain just below my left breast and occasional dizziness. These symptoms strike at all different hours of the day or night, even when I’m sleeping. I have been chalking these issues up to stress at work, the impending holidays, and the fact that I had a bad case of homesickness this year. But, not one to temp fate, I thought I should be smart and have a doctor take a look. Better to be safe than sorry.

The doctor ran an EKG which came up normal, thank goodness. After discussing the symptoms and my limited knowledge of my family’s medical history, she felt it was best that I wear a heart monitor for 30 days. She would like to rule out a benign arrhythmia or something more serious. But she feels that it is probably stress. Luckily the monitor about the size of a cell phone so it’s not really cumbersome. When ever I feel one of the symptoms come on I just push a button on the monitor and it registers. At the end of the thirty days she will have a better idea of what’s going on.

She did, however, give me the OK to start my workout program as planned. Good news for me! So starting on Saturday I will begin the workout schedule my friend Joy designed for me. Walking, cardio, strength training; she included it all. But I will take it easy until the heart testing is done and I have the final results. Again, better safe than sorry.

I’ve got to take it easy and stop sweating the small stuff. Taking deep breaths and just relaxing instead of worrying about things I can’t change is difficult for me. But it’s something I need to learn.

Liz

Today is a huge day in Seattle. Seahawks are in the playoffs and the “12th Man” is on fire! On a day like today food choices can be, well, limited. One needs careful planning and strategy.

Being designated driver made my choice about beer consumption easier. I will have one beer, but what to get is another question.  I’m sure you are asking yourself “why is she having beer when she’s trying to lose weight?” Well, as mentioned in my previous postings, Weight Watchers is all about eating what you want and tracking the Points Plus values! I love Weight Watchers!

A 16 ounce light beer has a Points Plus value of 5 points. A regular 16 ounce beer has a Points Plus value of 7 points. Being a writer of a beer blog I usually pick craft brews so it is worth it to me to take the extra 2 points to enjoy a beer I really like. And since I’m only having only one I can nurse it for a while along with a tall glass of water.

Now, what to do about my food choice? I totally get how hard it is to make good food choices when surrounded by burgers, hot dogs, fried foods and cheeses. Luckily, hubby and I decided to enjoy the game at one of the local pubs that has some lovely items for someone watching their waistline. Today I decided on the hummus appetizer. For only 4 Points Plus I can enjoy 1/4 cup of protein packed hummus. Pita bread will cost another 5 and the veggies, well they are 0 points! So for 16 points I can enjoy an incredibly flavorful lunch with a tasty craft brew and feel very satisfied. No if only the Seahawks can pull off a win today!

Liz

After working 50+ hours a week, the last thing I want to do is get up at 7:00am on a Saturday to go to my Weight Watchers meeting. But I did it today. I need to get back on track and start fresh. I was a bit nervous about weigh-in. After all, I haven’t really been following the program for the last month and I knew I had gained. I was right, but not surprised. Luckily it wasn’t a huge gain so I didn’t fret much. I sat through the introduction session after the regular meeting and really focused on what David (my awesome Weight Watchers lead) was explaining. I have heard about tracking and the WW program before, but today it really started to sink in. I need to focus on how and what I can change in order to achieve my goal. WOW! I finally realized that I have control over my decisions!

I decided when starting this blog I was going to be open and honest regarding everything about my journey.

So here I go…

Hi. My name is Elizabeth Christine Bush and I weigh 155.2lbs. While some may find posting my actual weight unnecessary and (in some cases) almost offensive, I decided the only way I’m going to succeed is to be real. This is my reality. I’m not happy with it. I’m not proud of it. But it’s real. There’s no looking back now. The only thing I can do is move forward towards my goal weight. I have chosen my ultimate goal weight is between 115-120lbs. My current weight may not seem like a lot but I’m 5’2″ so it’s exhausting to carry around. The reason I chose 115-120 is because that was the healthy weight I carried from the time I hit puberty until I reached the age of thirty. It’s a good, comfortable weight for me, and being a curvy girl, it looked good. My measurements were usually around 37-22-39. Like I said, I was a thin but curvy girl. Now, I honestly don’t know what my measurements are but I will say this…I have a sizing dress form I use for making my vintage clothes, and it’s cranked open as far as it can go. That bums me out.

So rather than dwelling on days gone by I need to focus on the days ahead. I have a vintage style Chinese brocade dress hanging in my closet that I used to wear in my healthier days and I’m itching to wear it again! This journey will not be an easy one, but my goals are attainable. The only obstacle I have is me. So I dusted my 12-week tracker off, stuck my Activelink (activity tracker) in my pocket and am ready to get this party started.

Liz

I had a piece of chocolate today and I don’t feel a damn bit of shame! Trust me, after the holiday debauchery I partook in, a little piece of chocolate is almost insignificant. That’s the great thing about Weight Watchers! You really CAN eat anything you want! And that 1 point was well worth it.

Candy in general is really not a problem for me. Chocolate and peanut butter, now that’s the problem. I took it upon myself years ago to have a spectacular candy dish at my desk at work and keep it supplied with only the best candy I could find. I enjoy having the candy dish because it gives me a chance to say “hi” to co-workers I don’t get to see very often. I have prided myself with hardly touching anything in the dish and it makes me feel good when a co-worker tells me that I have amazing self-control. But during the holidays it was a different story.

I found myself reaching for the marshmallow Santa’s, the mini candy bars, the kisses, and my kryptonite…Snickers Peanut Butter Squares! It just seemed easy to tell myself “screw it! It’s the holidays!” But in that short amount of time I felt my weight creep up and my energy level (once the sugar highs wore off) drop quicker than…well I can’t think of a metaphor but you get the picture. And then there’s the peppermint bark, peanut butter balls, and candied nuts! Holy cats Batman! It’s enough to make a girl lose her self-control. And I did. A few times. But rather than dwelling on the past I need to look forward. What’s the saying? “Don’t judge me by my past. I don’t live there anymore.”

I need to learn to let go of things I have done that I can’t change. If I could go back and not eat those things, would I? Surprisingly, no. Why? Because I have learned from it. I learned that while indulging in those treats every now and then is OK, only I was the one who had control over what I put in my mouth. I learned that though these items are tasty, fun, nostalgic, and temporarily satisfying they did not physically serve me in a way I need. So back to no longer sampling my own merchandise on a regular basis!

Liz

My walking sneakers are next to the front door, I dusted off my stationary bike, and my resistance bands are on the ready! But, before getting started on my exercise regimen I thought it would be smart to have a doctor address some recent medical issues. My appointment is next thursday. Pretty sure it’s only stress, but you can never be too safe

Had a great lunch today. If you have never had a veggie wrap you are really missing out! Spinach tortilla, lettuce, tomato, sprouts, cucumber, bread & butter pickles, olives, swiss cheese, and Dijon mustard. Yum! I’m trying to keep myself hydrated by drinking lots of liquids throughout the day. My favorite beverage of late is Sobe Lifewater Pacific Coconut water. It really takes care of my sweet tooth and is very rehydrating.

Dinner was a tasty smoked salmon with a cup of brown rice. I love me some smoked salmon! After a long, 11 hour shift and a satisfying meal, it’s about time for me to get some very much-needed shut-eye.

Feeling really positive about my journey and am looking forward to what I’m going to learn about myself.

Liz

My first entry on my journey is going to start off with a few confessions.

1) I’m addicted to food. I never thought I would have this issue as I have been a relatively healthy eater my entire life. Veggies, fruit, lean meat, whole grains…you get the picture. My issue with food starts with not being able to stop when I’m satisfied. Put it in front of me and I’m like a puppy; I will eat it until it’s gone. I eat when I’m not hungry. I must have something to snack on.

2) I’m incredibly lazy. I have never been an athletic person but after I hit my thirties my energy level dropped dramatically. The thought of getting up early in the morning to work out or hitting the gym after work is not very appealing.

3) I have a fear of failure. I have always strived to do the best at whatever I attempt but the fear of failure when it comes to weight loss is also the one thing that’s keeping me from actually succeeding.

4) I have 35-40 lbs to lose to reach my goal weight. That may not seem like much to some, but to me it’s everything. I feel every pound I have gained over the last 15 years and frankly, I’m tired of carrying it around. That’s it for baring my soul for now.

What I’m hoping to accomplish is more than just a New Years Resolution. I want to set my weight loss goal and actually reach it. I want to be able to climb the three flights of stairs at my office without getting winded. I want to wear my vintage clothes again. I want to rid myself of health issues that worry my husband, and me. I want to have a full night’s sleep without waking up gasping for air. I want to live to see my niece and nephews grow up and start families of their own. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. I want to live, period.

I’m starting Weight Watchers, again, and plan on doing “old school” tracking. I have an exercise plan my dear friend, Joy, laid out for me and I pan on sticking to it. It’s not going to be easy, but I am the only thing holding myself back. Let’s get started!

Liz