You never realize how weak you are until you try your first proper push-up. That reality has hit me big time since going to the gym. I love my trainer, Lauren, but she is kicking my ass! Thank God because apparently I’m as weak as a kitten. I have to laugh during my workouts with her because she makes everything look easy. When I step up to try the new excercise, I suddenly have the strength, coordination, and stamina of a newborn colt. When I go home, I’m sweatty, sore, and reeaaallllyyy tired. But, I wouldn’t trade those feelings for the world right now! It’s true! Everyday I feel myself getting stronger and leaner. My clothes are a bit loose and I’m liking what I see in the mirror. I just have one hangup right now. The scale hasn’t budged in a while.

It’s kind of frustrating to workout at the gym 5 days a week and not lose any wieght. While I know I’m gainging muscle mass, it would be nice to shed some of the fat. I talked with my trainer last night and we are linked up to the gym’s website: www.anytimehealth.com. I can log my meals and workouts and chat with other Antytime Fitness memebers or trainers. Lauren will be checking my page to see what I’m eating during the day and determine if something needs to be tweeked. First thing she DID mention was that I need more fruit and veggie in my diet. She is also concerned that I’m becoming afraid of food again. What do I mean by “afraid of food?” Lately I have noticed myself questioning everything I eat. Now, that may not sound like a bad thing, in my case it’s a bit extreme. While I’m somewhat of a healthy eater, I’m afraid to eat ANYTHING for fear of gaining what weight I have worked so hard to lose. I feel guilty when I eat a handful of crackers for dinner (and nothing else). I will purposely not eat on certain days because I feel like I ate too much the day before. Unhealthy habit to get myself into. I had the same issue when I was in Weight Watchers, but I’m working to not be so psychotic when it comes to eating habits. And it really helps having a trainer walk with be step by step.

I tell you, having a personal trainer has made all of the difference in the world to me. I finally have someone next to me showing me how to excercise properly and genuinly concerned with my health and well being. I knew my journey back to health was not going to be an easy one. But it sure is a bit better having someone in your corner!

Liz