Okay, okay…I know I had a bit of a meltdown last week about holidays and potlucks. I re-read what I wrote and had a bit of an epiphany. I realized I wasn’t mad about the festivities themselves, or how we choose to celebrate them. I was angry at myself for fearing my lack of willpower when it comes to food choices and portion control. I came to the conclusion that I was blaming others for MY lack of will power. I am the only one responsible for what, when, and how much I choose to eat. I can’t blame someone else for my choice to eat a cookie, or scarf a piece of pie, or to pile my plate in the shape of the Matterhorn. They didn’t put that food on my plate…I DID!  It’s MY choice to make those choices! So, I got up off the floor, put my big girl pin-up pants back on, took a deep breath, and have decided to move on!

Since I was in a looking back kind of mood I reviewed the last three months of my progress. I am nowhere near where I had hoped I would be by this time, but, I’m Ok with that. I am not dieting; I’m going through a lifestyle change and that takes time. I did not gain this weight overnight (although it feels like I did) and I’m not going to lose it overnight. Lifestyle changes take time. I’m still learning about my hunger signals, portion control, and making good food (and drink) choices when dining out. I’m not up to the exercising part yet and I can honestly say I have been procrastinating a bit when it comes to activity. But I know I will get to that level eventually. I’m still taking baby steps because I want this to be successful. Moving at my own pace is the only way I know how to get an action to stick.

I’m trying hard not to get discouraged when a friend talks about how losing weight was “so easy” for her. I won’t curse her when she says she lost 10lbs in a week. And I won’t “unfriend” her when she posts pictures of herself in a bikini on Facebook. I will simply say “good for you! I’m proud of you!” and continue along on MY journey. Everyone’s journey is different. The important thing I need to remember is I need to do what’s best for me and my body, mind, and spirit. I’m going to experience setbacks. I’m going to celebrate victories. I’m going to have good days, and I’m going to have bad days.  I’m Ok with that. I need to focus on what I really want for myself and not set my goals based upon someone else’s.

My Weight Watchers lead, David, shared a really good message with his WW group… ““The secret to unhappiness? Keep sacrificing what you want the most for what you want at the moment.” Wow, that really hit home. Thank you David! I needed that!

Liz